Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What a lovely time of year

It was brought to my attention by a couple different outlets that my NHL season predictions were spot on. Some were in such aw that they just had to hear what I had to say about the NHL playoffs, which start tonight. There wish is my command. Once again, I advise you all to call your bookies or a friend in Vegas and bet your 401k (do those even exist anymore?) on these predictions.

I'll just keep it simple and start with first round match-ups. It wont matter because I can just add on my second round-semis-and final round predictions as they go because they will be a carbon copy of what actually happens.

Western Conference Match-Ups

San Jose vs. Anaheim
Sharks in 5. MVP Dan Boyle scores 4 goals and 4 assists in five games. Storyline: Chris Pronger attacks team and demands trade to Leafs and his butt buddy Burke after series is over.

Detroit vs. Columbus
Red Wings in 7. MVP Johan Franzen scores 6 goals making his shitty new contract seem even more ridiculous. Storyline: Detroit barely escapes first round behind terrible goaltending from Osgood and Conklin, call Howard up.

Vancouver vs. St. Louis
Blues in 7. MVP Chris Mason battles Roberto Luongo all series long but by the time game seven rolls around Luongo is so intimidated by Mason's beard that he can't focus- Nucks lose 0-4. Storyline: Anti-fan Tyler P. Hoiseth of Wayzata, Minnesota falls in love with one of his biggest nemesis, TJ Oshie.

Chicago vs. Calgary
Flames in 7. MVP Michael Cammalleri nets 13 points in 7 games making Kings fans ponder "why?" for another two weeks. Storyline: Color blind people across North America struggle to wonder who to cheer for throughout the series but figure they will win in the end.

Eastern Conference Match-Ups

Boston vs. Montreal
Bruins in 6. MVP Milan Lucic single handily distracts the Canadiens from actually playing hockey. Storyline: Andrei Markov returns to the Canadiens line-up for game 2 only to be injured again in his second shift.

Washington vs. New York
Capitals in 5. MVP Alexander Ovechkin scores 7 goals in 5 games. Storyline: Don Cherry's head explodes on live television when Ovechkin celebrates all seven goals with passion. Non retarded people around the world celebrate.

New Jersey vs. Carolina
Devils in 7. MVP Zach Parise leads plyoff goal scoring with 11 goals. Storyline: Staal brothers hit by a truck at an end of the year gathering. Eye witness: Brothers were taunting traffic...again!

Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia
Flyers in 7. MVP Danny Briere explodes back into relevance with 12 points. Storyline: Shocked that four players on his own team finished with more penalty minutes, Daniel Carcillo makes it his goal to somehow surpass his psycho brethren. Related story: Sidney Crosby cries in post game interview.

So there you have it. As far as who I want to win goes, I can really say I have no preference. The match-ups are all incredible if you ask me. It is more of who I don't want to win it rather than who I'm rooting for.

Who I don't want to win and why.

Detroit. Why? Chris Williams.
Anaheim. Why? Chris Pronger.
Vancouver. Why? 2003
Carolina. Why? I miss the Whalers.
Philadelphia. Why? Scott Hartnell
Pittsburgh. Why? Sidney Crosby.


I must say that I had been kind of down and out about the playoffs and really not even that amped up for them. After all, we had to watch the Wild all year. Also because I was in attendance for the Nashville game where they looked amazing. People walked out of that building holding onto the slightest hope that we could sneak in, only to be hit with reality two short hours later. They missed the playoffs by two points. That hurts. What hurts more is that they will probably not be even close to making the second season for a while now. Lemaire is gone. As much as I'm looking forward to a new playing style for the future I can't help but wonder what this team would of looked like with any other coach this year. It would have been ugly. Gaborik is gone without a doubt. So its up to Doug Risebrough to put together a new make-up and team. Does anyone have confidence in this man? You're kidding yourself if you do. He did a fantastic job early on in this franchise but since the lockout he really has nothing to show. My pessimism isn't anything new. As a Minnesota sports fan I'm conditioned to failure. I won't even get into Tampa Bay's season this year.

That has been my mood since around Friday night. It quickly changed as I put together this post and actually looked into some of these exciting match ups. I also strolled over to youtube and watched some season highlight reels and those got me more in the mood for hockey. On top of this the weather outside is perfect and I came to the conclusion that it is a glorious time of the year so I should buck up about the downer MN sports teams.

I'm just going to get busy living...for a month because we're booted from this home then and I'm more than likely Young American bound.

Long live the NHL

-thoy.